together.

One of the most common questions people ask me about minimalism is, "What about your husband? Is he on board with this?" The answer is yes, although it's a bit more complicated than a one word answer allows. And so, Scott decided to write a guest post. Here's the real answer, in his own words...

"Leading a more authentic life."  That was the rationale Lauren gave for embracing minimalism.  I nodded, said sure, didn't think too much of it.  After all, no harm in weeding through some stuff and getting rid of excess, right?  Besides, I didn't have that much stuff to get rid of, especially in comparison to my wife and her closet.  This would mostly be an academic exercise for me.

Yet, my own closet proved trickier than I imagined.  Sure, there were a few things that were easy to let go of, but -- oh, wait, this shirt, no this shirt we bought early on when we were dating and it was the first time I had seen a Theory shirt and -- but wait, what about these jeans, I got these in Philadelphia and they might be ill-fitting but memories -- oh and those shoes, I've had those for years, they're really good shoes...

The closet did get minimized, and the shirt, jeans and shoes were gone, but then the books came.  The books, and the board games, and the electronics, and everything else that had filled our office sideboard, the shelves bare and empty, bookcases disassembled and unnecessary, and I realized how affected I was by all this, how much I was hating the entire process.

This isn't my first time minimizing.  I've moved about the country a few times, and each time came a purge and a rebuild, a time to junk my belongings and start anew. Each move, though, was accompanied by drama and emotion, by me eternally trying to find something and then picking up and relocating when I couldn't.  Moreover, my financial situation was always in flux.  My CD collection, before everything got ripped to iTunes, ebbed and flowed according to my employment status.  I didn't have credit lines to fill with consumables, but when I did, it would mean something crucial, something important...that I might have to get rid of during the next move.

Since getting married and returning to Boston, I've had financial and emotional stability for the first time in possibly ever.  Despite a few unemployment bumps, I've maintained and grown my finances, taking care of fundamental issues that kept me from achieving stability.  Around me, in my apartment in Cambridge, were the markers and items of my new life.

And here we were, throwing them all away.

Which is, of course, a fallacy.  I'm not selling my car, we're not moving out any time soon, and I still have a good closet full of nice clothes.  It's the emotional attachment, the investment in a value system of attainment and material acquisition that had replaced the exile from that very system for so long, that is what is really being disassembled, given away, recycled into the universe.  It's the dependency of having that crutch of a credit line, of being flush with cash to protect against the misfortunes of my past, which were pounding in my gut and making me feel like I was giving away everything I had achieved.

It takes me a longer time to process emotions than it takes Lauren.  I asked to do a guest post because that would help me process.  But in leading an authentic life, I have to be honest with myself and let go of emotions, values and attachments that aren't authentic, that were temporary markers on the road back to my own truth that ended up lingering longer than they should have.  It's a process, but a rewarding one, leading me back to the core of who I am and giving me the opportunity to truly define what my life, both for myself and with Lauren, should be.